


Maybe One Day

by Edgy_Trashbag



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Happy Ending, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phan Angst, Phan Fluff, Phanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-18 17:06:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 3,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9394841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Edgy_Trashbag/pseuds/Edgy_Trashbag
Summary: An alternate universe where in 2009 a very suicidal depressed Dan suddenly stops replying or even seeing anything Phil sends him. What has happened to Dan? What will happen to Phil?





	1. Missed Calls

**Author's Note:**

> Okay wow I'm already starting a new phanfic? Hells yeah. This one will have multiple chapters!

Prompt: An alternate universe where in 2009 a very suicidal depressed Dan suddenly stops replying or even seeing anything Phil sends him. What has happened to Dan? What will happen to Phil? 

 

It was a normal Friday night and I was looking forward to skyping Dan tonight. We couldn't last night, as his brother had friends over and they kept coming into his room and he didn't want to deal with that and explaining who he was talking to. In fact none of his family even knew about me, as his dad was extremely homophobic and his mom was quite religious; even if we weren't officially dating we constantly flirted and we were both bisexual.  
Luckily the friends were gone and I could finally Skype him. We would talk for hours about nothing and everything all at once. We would talk about our feelings and our lives and even our future. However Dan didn't really seem to want a future. He was very depressed and suicidal at times, most times. 

 

I had tried skyping him at least four times in the past ten minutes. I mean he could just be busy but he would have told me if he couldn't Skype again. Should I be worried? He's skipped Skype calls before. Maybe he's just showering and I shouldn't worry. But what if somethings wrong?  
The first thing I could think of was checking his Twitter. Oh shit. This is not good. Oh fuck. Dans last tweet. "Goodbye, Phil. Thank you for everything<3"  
Oh no. I called Dan over and over again. No answer. It would ring and ring each time I was expecting Dan to tell me "oh I'm here, sorry I was just showering." After about 13 calls I gave up for the night. It was getting late and I needed to shower. Maybe in the morning everything will be okay. If not tomorrow, maybe one day. 

In the morning I checked my phone but there was still no reply. I called and called, and I called again. Nothing. It just kept ringing and ringing, and ringing. I texted him over 87 times but there was still no reply. Was this over? Was my best friend dead? I say best friend but he was more. I mean we have never met in person but he means the world to me. Also we were always flirting, at least I was flirting with him.  
I couldn't believe it. I refused to believe it. I literally could not believe that Dan Howell, my best friend was dead. He was the best person in the world. He was my world. But now, now there was no way I could do anything. But there is still hope right? I mean he's already eighteen so I his parents can't control him but he does still live with them, maybe they could've been involved?


	2. Hope Is Lost But Not Forgotten.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically Phil starts making videos for Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if some of these chapters are short they will get longer I promise.

After about a month I lost hope. I lost hope of Dan being alive. Every single day I would text him and call him, sometimes even try to skype. He would never answer though. After about three weeks his number got disconnected. Now that's when I knew, but I still denied it.  
The second I found out his number had been disconnected I instantly felt ill. I had to run to the bathroom and vomit. I was quickly moving towards "the storm" as my mother called it. It's when you lose everything you love and give up, but you've given up so much that not even death will help. I have already lost a best friend before. Around two years prior to all of this my best friend at the time had died. It's not fair.  
I've never been anything but nice to this world yet it seems the whole world has been against me all my life. I tried to focus only on the positive things, but now I couldn't. I decided to give up on my YouTube channel which is how Dan found me. I made every video on my channel private. However, just because I'm not posting videos doesn't mean I won't make them.   
I make videos daily, all of them are for Dan. I tell him how much I loved him, how much he meant to me, how much I would do anything to see him. Things I should have said before. I ended every video by saying, "I hope I will see you again, probably not, but maybe one day." Most of these videos made me cry because Dan will never see them because he is dead.   
Sometimes I wish I could forget about him, but I can't. I had only known him for a few months but that doesn't mean I can't love him. Nothing will ever make me as happy as he did. I love Dan Howell and I will never stop loving him. 

After another month I deleted my Twitter, and my dailybooth, and all social media, however I kept making videos for Dan. Every single day I tell Dan how I feel in these videos, how I wish I could've met him, how I wish I could see his face again, and how much I love him. Dan is the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. Sometimes I day dream about what could've been.   
I just wish I could meet him in person and tell him how I feel. I want him to know I love him. I want him to see I care. I wish he would've known this before. I wish I could see him in person right now. Oh well, maybe one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment how you feel about all of this.


	3. It's Been a While

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been a year since they last talked and Phil makes a video to commemorate it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this whole chapter is going to be one of the videos that Phil makes Dan.

"Awrf, hi, Dan!, today marks one year since the last time we actually spoke to each other. I can't believe I've managed this long without you. I'm moving into my own flat soon. I'm not going to be living with parents anymore, which is actually a bit strange as they are the only people who actually cared about what happened to you, besides me of course." I started crying like usual. "I'm going to be all alone but that's probably what i need right now."   
"I started an office job about 6 months ago even though i didn't say so in these videos. I thought it would be a boring topic, as of late however, it has become a huge part of my life. I haven't found a new lover but I don't want one who isn't you. I really do miss you, Dan, I really do, I would do anything to see you again." I really should keep myself together but who's going to see anyways? "I have only been doing a video once a week because of work. Actually i have a great story to tell you!"  
"Today a lady barked at me! Can you believe that? I really do attract crazy people." I chuckled and I could almost hear his laugh and then my heart stung for a bit but I went on." And then in the tube on Monday a lady started petting my arm whilst she slept. It was creepy." I told the camera things that would have made Dan laughed. "I wish you could tell me stories too. Maybe one day."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhh this chapter was actually written on my laptop and not my iphone so tell me if the quality of my writing is better or the same because my friend said this would help.


	4. I'm Where You Want To Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been 3 years since they last talked. Phil is lonely and in a new city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS BEFORE YOU SAY "oh wears the happy ending." DONT WORRY THE END IS NEAR AND IT WILL BE HELLA HAPPY!

It's been three years since Dan and I last spoke and I have moved to London. I decided I would try to get a better job and I did. I was doing okay,but I'm not as happy as I could be if I had Dan. People have told me, "Oh,Phil, get over it, it has been three years." They don't understand.   
It is now late 2012. I have had an even worse year. My parents have been pressuring me to find a partner and settle down. As great as my wonderful parents are, they just don't understand. They don't understand how I feel for him.   
People tell me I'm hung up on Dan, I am, but I don't want to stop loving him. I want to be able to hug him. I want to be able to kiss him. I want to tell him funny stories about stupid things I've done.   
I still make videos but every month. I have so many memory cards filled with these videos all in a box. Sometimes I play them back and watch them again to cry. I cry less in the videos now but I still feel the same way. My heart hurts every time I hear his name.  
I have to make a confession, I didn't move to London for a job. I moved because that's where Dan wanted to live one day. He wanted to be in the heart of England. He was a hopeful boy with pessimistic ideals and a frown.   
I wish I could see you one time, at least. I just need to say things that were never said that should've been. I wish I could just bump into you. Maybe one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this! I wrote this one on my phone again because I feel more comfortable but tell me if last chapter was written better or nah


	5. Painstakingly Short Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil is expressing his thoughts to Dan in a video

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of my chapters are really short I promise that last ones (which are very soon) will be longer!

It has five years since I last talked to you. I think I might've saw you the other day, I don't think it was really you though. I could only see the back and I saw the front for a second but not the face. I yelled, 'Hey, wait," however, you, or him never answered or stopped. It was in the underground and he was running somewhere.  
I know it wasn't you. I know I will never see you again. You are dead. I feel dead. I need you. I need you to tell me about how your parents are assholes and would hate hearing our conversations. I miss when you would whisper in your dark room over Skype to me telling me about your life and how we should just fuck society in the ass.  
I need you to tell me about how you never want to go to university but you need a job so you will. I need you to tell me everything about you again. I need to see you right now. I need you right now. I'm not sure how much longer I will stand this. I need you. I will never leave you, please? I need you so much.  
I have never been more mad at this universe before you came along and ruined everything in the best way possible. I want you to ruin me again. I want to go back to 2009 and have the best time of our short, painstakingly short lives.  
Why did the universe do this to me? Of course it would. I am the most unlucky man on earth. I remember five years ago, when we had long Skype calls and conversations until three am, when I thought I was the luckiest man on earth. I love you. I just love you. Please come back.  
I want to see you again. Scratch that. I need to see you again. God. Maybe one day.


	6. I Found My Missing Piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Phil of 2015 stumbles into an unfamiliar coffee shop?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I suck at summaries and stories and life but you should still finish reading this story

It has been six years since we last talked. I had given up all hope on him until last year when I saw somebody who looked like him but now I am filled with happiness as I found him. I found my source of happiness. I found my best friend.  
It was a normal day in late August and everything was just normal. It was a Wednesday and I was heading to work but it was still early. I stopped at a coffee shop I've never been before even though it is right by my house. I walked into this nice little coffee shop and walked up to the counter without looking up.  
Suddenly I looked up and saw who I thought was dead for almost six years. At first I didn't recognize him, however you can't blame me. His fringe is shorter and his skin is paler, however, his warm amber eyes are still the same. So many emotions are going through me at once.  
Was this really Dan? Was this really Dan Howell, the man I fell in love with six whole years ago? The man I thought was dead? The man that I still love?  
Was my mind playing tricks on me? Was the universe pulling shit on me? Or was this really Dan Howell? I almost started crying. There was no fucking way I had found my missing piece.  
I looked down at his name tag for clarification. In comic sans was a name written. 'Dan' the tag on his shirt read. I feel relieved.  
"DAN!" I yell. Maybe he would notice me. If not today, maybe one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY FOR THE PEOPLE GETTING MAD FOR YHERE NOT BEING A HAPPY ENDING DONT WORRY END IS NEAR AND PRETTY HAPPY


	7. Switching Perspectives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No summary for this chapter but I did change the POV for this chapter and yeah I liked this story not done yet though.

It was a normal warm day in a crowded London in August. I was working my boring job at a coffee shop which was always busy but not today. Strange. Speaking of strange I have been feeling strange all day. I've got a strange feeling in my stomach, like something is going to happen, not bad, but something.  
It was quite early in the morning and I haven't had one customer all day. I still waited there, and boy aren't I glad I did. I never thought this day would come, but it did.  
There he was. He walked through the door with his head down, now I didn't know it was him, but could you blame me? His skin was somehow lighter than before and his fringe was shorter. But then he got to the counter and looked up at me. His breathtaking blue eyes looked up at me. He studied me for a second before yelling, "DAN!"  
"PHIL?" I yelled back. I haven't seen him in almost six years. We would skype all the time and he was my best friend. I haven't stopped thinking about him for six years. We stopped talking when my homophobic dad found out and took away all my electronics even though I was already eighteen. He deleted all my accounts but I managed one more tweet before it was gone. My skype was deleting and my number was changed. I tried searching for his Twitter and YouTube again once I got my electronics back but he was gone.  
"I thought you were dead!" Phil whispered loudly. "Do you know how bad I've missed you?" Was he starting to cry. Goddamnit was I starting to cry?  
"Do you know how much I've missed you?" I replied in a jokingly snarky tone. "And no I wasn't dead, but my dad was being a dickhead long story for a different time."  
I will eventually tell him this story. I just can't explain it all today. I will tell him. Maybe one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not over yet it seems like it's over kind of but it still has two more chapters left.


	8. Piecing Us Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh no summary again because a summary isn't needed all the time.

It has been another year. It is now October 19, 2016. Since last year, Dan and I have started YouTube again. Well me again, him for the first time. We are now dating and we have been living together for six  
months. I have never been happier. I love Daniel James Howell more than anything and I will never get sick of him. I've showed him the videos I made for him after he had "died." I'm so glad he's not dead.  
He explained the whole story to me with his asshole dad and everything and I understand. I mean I wish it hadn't happened but it did. I have met his father since then and he likes me now. Sometimes people change.  
We have developed quite a large audience who have written fanfiction about us. They call it "phanfiction." Weird. Anyways my personal favorite fic was one where in a parallel universe Dan never stopped talking to me and we had met in real life on October 19, 2009 and is having happy lives up until this point with a sad point in 2012 where we were asses to each other. I really liked the idea but the story was so realistic it seems like it was an actual parallel universe. I loved it.  
We do everything together and people rarely see us apart. I could never be apart from him. I'm too scared to lose him again and I think he feels the same way.  
My parents love him and have welcomed him into the family. It's great to see him and my family getting along. It makes me feel all warm and tingly inside. I love this feeling, I love him.  
I want to laugh at the people who told me to give up. I didn't give up and here I am, with a loving boyfriend who I hope to marry. I hope I marry him. Welp, maybe one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh only two more chapters I hope to are excited for the end!!!!!


	9. Marry Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil proposes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter isn't very well written and the grammar isn't very good I wrote this at midnight (12 hours ago now Wowza)

It is now October 19, 2017 and today I am going to propose to my best friend and my soulmate, Daniel James Howell. I love him and I want so much for us to be together forever. I didn't want to lose him so I might as well ask now and pray for the best.  
I proposed by being simple yet creative. I had Dan explain everything from his point of view up until now. "That's everything that's happened up until this point." He said and he looked so goddamn cute I almost forgot what I was here to do.  
"Well that brings us to the next thing." I was shaking. I was so nervous. I got down on one knee.  
"What?" Dans eyes went wide and I was shaking so much. "Phil, I don't understand."  
I got out the box with the ring and opened it as you do. I took a deep breath. "Daniel James Howell, I love you to the sun and back. Will you marry me?" I was about to cry and vomit at the same time. It was great.  
"Oh my god." I could see the tears forming in his eyes and he was about to cry. "Oh my god, yes." I slid the ring onto his finger and I stood up as he jumped into my arms. My heart did that flippy over thing and I couldn't contain my happiness.  
"I love you so much." He whispered quietly. "I just love you so much."  
"I love you too, bear." We were both crying tears of joy into each other's chest and I was happy. I just love him so so much.  
This was the man I was going to marry. This was the man I was going to love forever. This is the man I will grow old with. I will die with this man. Maybe one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again when I wrote this I was sleep deprived and at one point said, "I slid his finger onto the ring." Because I was so tired.


	10. My World Is Shattering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is now 2084. Phil is 97 and Dan is 93. What happens when Phil has a failing heart and Dan gets a broken one?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I was only going to have 10 chapters but after this there is only one more because I couldn't fit the ending in.

It has been 75 years since that chilling night when he thought I had killed myself. Phil is now 97 and I am now 93. We have grown old together and it was the best life any human could ever hope for. We went through some hard times but the good times were stronger memories.  
We adopted two children together. Twin siblings, a girl named Winnie and a boy named Winston. They were very good growing up and Winnie grew up to be a lawyer and Winston grew up to be a fashion designer. They broke all types of gender stereotypes, I was very proud.  
Phil and I rarely left each other's side and people were pretty sure we were one person. We continued doing YouTube up until Phil was 74 and I was 70. Turns out old people don't get a lot of views.  
We also now have great grandchildren as Winnie and Winston both had children who had children and we love them all, yes even the bad ones. Being a grandfather is quite fun actually, however once you get to be a great grandfather things aren't as easy.

~one month later~  
Phil is in the hospital with a failing heart. Our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren are here and I don't know what to do. I haven't left Phil since he was twenty-eight. What will I do without him? My world is shattering.  
Phil is predicted to not survive the next twenty four hours. My world is crashing down as I hear those words leave the doctors mouth and I hear them in my mind over and over again. He has saved me. I can't live without him. This isn't fair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay only one more chapter to go.


	11. This Was The Most Fun I've Ever Had

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This was the most fun I've ever had"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter!!!!!! I'm so excited for this!

It is October 19th, 2084 and Phil has less than 24 hours to live, little do I know, I do too. It's a pretty short story so I guess I can tell it.  
After Phil found out he had only 24 hours to live he said goodbye to everybody in the room including me. I was holding his hand the whole time. Our wrinkled hands, the hands that held each other when we were young. The hands that have been together for 75 years and mentally for more.  
I said goodbye to everybody in the room as they all decided to wait in a hotel overnight even though they knew Phil might not make it to the morning. All of them were crying.  
It was around nine pm and Phil asked me to sleep with him one last time. I crawled in with him and saw my dying husband, still as beautiful as he was when we were skyping back in 2009.  
Phil was warm and I was cold. Phil was my sun and I was the moon. I love this man so much. I don't know what I will do without him. Again, little did I know, I wouldn't have to be without him ever again.  
The second I had been told he had less than 24 hours to live was the second my heart started to break. I didn't really think people could die from a broken heart but I didn't believe a lot of true things. Back when I was seventeen and watching a beautiful raven haired boy on YouTube, I didn't think we would die together.  
Phil was asleep until sometime around midnight. Then he stopped breathing. I started crying. No. He couldn't be dead. My heart broke completely at that point.  
"Phil, no, WAIT." I whispered. "Can I be with you forever? Maybe one day?" That's when I took my last breath ever, as I had died right after I said, "This was the most fun I've ever had."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know the ending is kind of the like the ending of the notebook, even though I didn't really like the notebook the idea of dying in the same bed together seems really sad yet nice. Also the videos are kinda like the notebook? But I didn't mean for that to happen. Also yes people can die from broken hearts and way before I was even born my great grandmother had died apparently and my feet grandfather died shortly after from a broken heart kind of.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Comment below what you thought.


End file.
